Suspension and springs: What the heck do i do now!?

Everyone have been there.

That first time (and the second, third and fourth) when someone tells you to setup your suspension.
So.
WTF do they mean by that? How do i do it? Talking about spring-rates, valves, cartridges, rider, free, bike sag, high and low speed compression rebound hyper ultra super mega race öhlins tech showa dampers!

First of all, i think ive looked at 100 videos on youtube telling you what to do. Most of them tells you essentially the same, almost. One says 20mm of sag is enough "since you are on a sportbike and it should be stiiiiifff!", while the other one says "30mm, or a bit more. It almost never happens that someone came to me and needed help and their suspension were too soft!"

IF you guys want me to, i can try to write something about how to set sag here, i think though ive found the one video telling you what to do, and describing it VERY good. Its over 1hour 40 mins long, so make sure you have time when you watch it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3xdM8E_q-I

So. Youve tried to set up your sag. Everything makes sense, but...
No matter how you do it, your free sag is 3mm if you are to have a good rider sag, or maybe 30, anyways, your numbers are way off and you NEED new springs. :thumbdown:

Great, you now know that you need softer or harder springs. You look at ebay and find that there are 9.5nm springs, or 9.0. Oh, and the 10.5 and 11nm. :butbut::crazy By now you are thinking JUST GIVE ME THE RIGHT ONE!! Give up and go to the dealership. "Hey guys, my springs are f-d up, i need new harder ones!" - "Ok, how hard?" -"Well, harder then stock?" And you take out that note of the numbers you got when you set up the bike, thinking "Yeah, i came prepared!" - No you didnt.
"Ok so what am i supposed to do with theese numbers?" the guy in the shop says. You bury your face in the palms of your hands and walk outside thinking you will have to buy 10 springs and go for trial and error.

Now to the sweet part - no you dont!
Ive been looking for this for 2 years and didnt find it! I got the tip when i called Öhlins for help, and not a dealer - i called the main office!

RT - Digital Product Search

Choose your bike, press the yellow link on top of the page saying "Calculate spring rates and display availible springs". Punch your numbers in there and youve got it!